Wicked Smaht

If I closed my eyes and focused on the swishy sounds of the washing machines here where I'm literally airing my dirty laundry in public, I could believe I'm back in Lexington at the Chevy Chase Coin Laundry.

The reality of laundromats doesn't change no matter where you are.

But something inside of me is different now. When I was in Lexington, I a) had a job and a purpose b) knew how to get home from where I was c) was in some perpetual, pitiful emotional state because of Nate. I was at any given time oozing glee because I had him, grieving because I lost him, or wallowing in guilt because I had him when I wasn't supposed to.

Now I have him and that burden is gone. It's replaced with the burden of making a relationship with a history like ours work. But I think we can do it. He's good about talking things out.

For example, I was hanging out at his studio the other night because he had a ton of work to do. I found myself to be in a craptastic mood. I think I was feeling jealous. I'm used to feeling jealous of other women he's friends with but I think it was more than that. This guy stood around for awhile talking to him about school stuff. He had a crazy Yankee accent, the worst I've picked up on so far. He kept saying things were wicked... and not like the witch. His girlfriend is getting her PhD which apparently makes her "wicked smart." Ok dude.

I was jealous of this silly Yankee guy. He knew things about Nate that I never will. He and the other students know School Nate. They understand the projects and professors and can sympothize with him in ways that I can't. I hate that. For as much as Nate and I have in common and the similar interests that we have, we'll always have separate school/work friends, relationships, and priorities. True for every couple pretty much. Maybe in time I'll see that as a good thing. For now, I'll just sit and listen and try to contribute to conversations about grading plans and line weights.

Anyway, Nate picked up on my mood quickly and asked me what was wrong and if we should go out and talk. I said that I was just in a bad mood and we talked about it later at home. He never lets me stay angry, even when I pout. I like that.

When it's really cold, steam comes up from all the manholes. It's neat looking.